


Custom Fit in an Off-The-Rack World

by WritingToKeepMySanity



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: -Ish, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, bartender!jack, deaf!Crutchie, deaf!Race, society gal!Kath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-06-30 13:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19854022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingToKeepMySanity/pseuds/WritingToKeepMySanity
Summary: "Maybe you and I are just too choosy. We're both looking for a custom fit in an off-the-rack world."—Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H season 8, episode 14***It's the oldest story in the book. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, get engaged... then girl runs off with the bartender.Huh.Guess that is a new one, isn't it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve hit a bit of a snag with piano man (which is a shame because the next chapter was when things finally got good) so my response was to... start a whole new au. 
> 
> Seems sensible yeah?
> 
> All I ask is you please take some of the legal stuff with a grain of salt because most of it is to drive the story so.... that’s just how this goes ;)

“Do you, John Francis Kelly, take Katherine Ethel Pulitzer as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Katherine Ethel Pulitzer, take John Francis Kelly as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Then, by the power vested in me, by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

_Two weeks earlier_

**_Royal Wedding Update: Morgan-Pulitzer Wedding Planning in Full Swing_ **

_JP Morgan and Joseph Pulitzer, the closest we’ll get to American royalty, have decided to bury the hatchet in the wake of their children’s wedding. But rather than rehash old rivalries, let’s take a look at new love._

Katherine smiled—a tight-lipped thing that would pass as unbelievable if she hadn’t been smiling the same way in front of the paparazzi since she was thirteen—as flashbulbs went off in her face. She stood next to Jack, and they stood behind their fathers.

“Mr. Pulitzer! Joseph! How are you handling the decline of newspaper in an increasingly digital world?” one reporter asked, holding out their microphone.

Her father shrugged. “What can I say? People love their papers still. And thanks to my daughter, who had to set up my Twitter account, _The World_ is taking steps towards a digital platform.”

“JP!” another reporter yelled. “How’s retirement? Was it difficult to leave Chase?”

Slapping her father’s shoulder, JP laughed. “What’s retirement? I may have cut my hours down to forty a week, but the company’s in good hands with my son at the helm.”

“And how has the transition, Jack? _The Wall Street Journal_ reported a three percent dip in your stocks after you took over, care to comment?”

Jack nodded. “Like with any transition, there was a period of adjustment, and we knew there might be some flux in the stocks, but three percent is better than we could have hoped for, really.”

A handful of questions were lobbied towards the men, and Katherine allowed her mind to wander slightly as they did, keeping her careful, neutral mask as she was mostly ignored.

_Do I have any food in the fridge at home? Mm, don’t think so… Maybe I should ask Lindsay to have something sent to my apartment—shit, did I miss her birthday? Wait, no, it’s still January. And her birthday isn’t even until after mine, so unless I missed my own birthday…_

“Katherine! Katherine, over here!” she heard suddenly, and she turned her smile on the reporter. “Who are you wearing to the wedding? Is it true Vera Wang is making your dress custom?”

Swallowing a thousand retorts right at the tip of her tongue, Katherine simply said, “Vera is an old friend, and I’m so excited, I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s done.”

“Thank you, that’s all the time we have,” Amber, JP’s assistant, said before escorting them to the car. Katherine slid in first, Jack next to her, and their fathers across from them.

“In the future,” Joseph said, all niceties from outside gone in a second. “I do suggest you not jostle me so much.”

“Here we go,” Jack muttered, and she rolled her eyes, reaching for her phone.

“Oh, you always have something to complain about, don’t you, Pulitzer?” JP scoffed. “Tell me again what it’s like to be in a dying industry?”

“No, you know what, I’ll tell you again, my daughter is too good for that no-good son of yours—”

Katherine dropped her phone back in her purse. “Dad. We’re right here.”

“And, with all due respect sir, the marriage was your idea,” Jack added. Her father’s face turned red, and Katherine rubbed her temple.

“Don’t poke the bear,” she grumbled.

Thankfully, the car stopped then, and their driver turned to look at them through the divider. “Miss Pulitzer, this is your stop.”

“Thank you, Jamie.” She looped her purse over her shoulder and accepted the dry peck Jack gave her. “Dad, I’ll see you Friday night for dinner, okay? It was good to see you again, JP.”

Katherine ducked out of the car before any of them could reply and sighed, standing outside _The World_ building. She couldn’t wait for the wedding stuff to die down so she wasn’t constantly ducking in and out of work all the time.

When she made it up to her office, Lindsay stood to greet her, wordlessly handing her a couple aspirin and a bottle of water, both of which Katherine took with a grateful nod.

“Any messages?” she asked, taking a long swig of water.

Lindsay reached back to her desk and picked up a handful of Post-Its. “One from Darcy Reid from _The Trib_ , three from your wedding planner, asking about your decision on centerpieces, and four—no, five—messages from your mother.”

“Dinner or wedding stuff?” she asked, peering at Lindsay over her reading glasses that she’d fished out of her purse in order to read the notes in front of her.

“A bit of both.” Lindsay gave her a smile when she groaned. “Oh, and Sean Conlon is waiting in your office.”

Katherine perked up at that. Sean Conlon had been her friend since undergrad—they’d been in a business law class together and both managed to piss off the professor by asking too many questions apparently. He’d just finished law school and, once he’d passed the Bar, she’d helped him get a job with the law firm her father used.

“He is? Great. Uhm, call Marie back, tell her I like the daisies, I don’t care if they’re not traditional, then call my mom and say yes I will be at dinner Friday and I’ll call her later about the wedding, and have Darcy ready to call when I’m done here, okay?”

Lindsay noted something in her planner. “Got it.”

Katherine smiled. “Thank you so much,” she said, squeezing the other girl’s shoulder before turning towards her office.

Sean looked up as she entered. “Hey, Kathy.”

Pushing her glasses up on her head, she grinned at him. “Hey, Sean. What can I do for you?” She raised an eyebrow as she noticed how nervous he was acting, pulling at the cuffs of his suit jacket and drumming his fingers against his leg.

“Uhm.” He cleared his throat. “This’s… awkward.”

She laughed a bit, rounding her desk to sit down. “Sean, my first period made three gossip magazines. My whole life has been awkward, you’re going to have to do better than that.”

He blinked at her a moment before continuing. “Okay, so… M’—my boss gave me this t’ take an’ get processed before you an’ Jack sign ‘em—” His accent was slipping, a telltale sign of his agitation. “—an’ I couldn’t help it, I took a peek at it.”

“What, our prenuptial agreement?” Katherine asked, furrowing her brow.

He nodded jerkily. “Yeah. Didja read this?”

Tilting her head, she gave him her driest, most disbelieving look. “Sean, do I look stupid to you?”

Sean raised his hands in defense. “When was the last time ya read it?”

Katherine glanced down at her planner. “Week ago yesterday,” she said, tapping her finger against the appointment written in purple ink. “Why?”

He chewed his bottom lip, flipping through the pages in his hand. “Look, here. Addendum dated two days ‘go. Guessin’ you don’t know ‘bout it.”

“Why? What does it say?” Katherine’s blood went cold, though she tried to keep a neutral look on her face.

“In layman’s terms, Jack’s gonna come inta all your assets, ‘cludin’ trusts, stocks, shares… everythin’.”

She felt herself warm slightly. “Yes, both our names go on everything. Same goes for the stocks he has.”

Sean shook his head. “Yeah, but this says even if ya get a divorce, Jack keeps it all.”

“ _What_?”

~*~

Her heels clicked against the pavement as Katherine marched down the sidewalk. Sean had walked her through the addendum, trying to soothe her when she demanded to know how the hell that had happened without her knowledge.

“S’less than a week from the signin'. He was prob’ly bettin’ on you not reading it too closely,” he’d said.

“But _how_ did he get this added?” she’d seethed. “Don’t we both have to be… present, or whatever, both in agreement for something to be added, especially this late?”

“That’s what ‘m lookin’ into Kath. I swear.”

She’d stormed out just after he’d left her office, completely forgetting to call back Darcy. She didn’t take advantage in her role as boss’s daughter often, but no one was going to tell Joseph Pulitzer’s daughter she couldn’t take a half-day, especially when she stormed out the way she had.

Her marriage to Jack was… complicated, had been since the idea was brought up. She and Jack had only even dated to piss off their dads—the Pulitzer-Morgan feud was older than they were, and JP and her dad were in two vastly different fields—but after a year, maybe a year and a half, they realized they just didn't work. At all. The only thing they'd had going for them was they both knew their fathers would hate it.

Fact was, Jack was an Economics major and he kissed—among other things—like one. Katherine had been bored within six months.

But the media ate it up. The Pulitzers and Morgans were two households from where civil blood made civil hands unclean, and she and Jack were their two star-crossed lovers. 

Stocks went up for both companies, their father's started acting chummy in front of the cameras, and the day she told her mother and father she'd broken up with Jack, she was sat down for a lecture about 'good will' and 'keeping up appearances' and something about compromises, and one thing led to another and she and Jack were getting engaged. 

Jack was stuffier than their dads, dull in any conversation that wasn’t finances—no, actually, especially then—but Katherine never suspected he was capable of something like _this_.

She needed a drink.

Katherine had been walking for quite a while, a fact made apparent by the fact that she was now in DUMBO Brooklyn—she didn’t even totally recall crossing the bridge, if she was honest.

Ducking into the first bar she saw, Katherine barely hesitated before stalking to the open seat at the bar, plopping her purse in the seat next to her. She hadn’t checked the time before she left, just knew that it was after lunch and far before dinner—frankly, she was shocked that the bar was even open, but thankful for the relative quiet.

The bartender, who had been on the other end of the bar, didn’t comment on the time or her blustering entrance, just moved to stand in front of her and lay a cocktail napkin in front of her.

“What c’n I get’cha?” His voice reminded her of Sean’s, except his accent was thicker, unrestrained.

“Macallan sherry. Neat. Whatever’s the oldest you have.” And, oh, she could hear her mother’s voice chastising her in the back of her mind. Strong liquor like Macallan’s was for gifting and celebrations, not something she should be knocking back at two in the afternoon.

The bartender raised his eyebrows a bit, but turned to get her scotch. Setting the rock bottom glass in front of her, he asked, “Wanna talk ‘bout it?”

Katherine took a sip. “No.”

Her curt answer didn’t seem to faze him, and he shrugged. “Alright. Ya look decent ‘nough, so I’m gonna finish checkin’ inventory. Holler if ya wanna refill or settle.”

One scotch down and halfway through her second, the bartender had come back and was working on prep behind the bar in front of her. They hadn’t said more than a dozen words to each other, mostly her drink order, but now Katherine was bored.

“Do I know you?” she asked him, tilting her head in her hand. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

He shrugged. “Dunno. Don’t think I’s ever seen ya ‘round here, but I get lots’a customers, so.”

Katherine shook her head. “No, I’ve never come here… Did you go to NYU?”

Nodding, he said, “Yeah, class’a 2015. You?”

“2015? Me too.” She nodded as well, decisively, like that settled everything.

He chuckled a bit. “Alright, but NYU’s huge, no way ya just know me ‘cause we graduated same year.”

“Oh.” Katherine wrinkled her nose. That made sense, but she was still convinced that she’d met him before. “I’ll figure it out…" She leaned on her hand, looking up at him. "So, bartender? Did NYU have some secret amazing mixology program I never heard of?”

“Just m’day job,” he said easily, slicing a lemon. “Or night job, I guess, dependin’ on the shift.”

“What’s your, uh…” She waved her hand, looking for the word. “…Other job?”

“‘m an artist. Tryin’, anyways. What ‘bout’chu? Professional day-drinker? Ya look too nice t’ be a bum,” he said with a smirk.

Katherine sighed, loud and gusty, blowing her bangs off her forehead. “I am… about to take over _The World_ from my father. And get married. In the same week.”

“Ah, congrats.” She was already waving him off before the word was fully out of his mouth.

“Keep it. I don’t really want to marry him.”

He cocked his head at her. “Then… why’re ya?”

“‘Because it will be a show of goodwill and hope for the future of our two companies if Jack and I get married’,” she recited dully, looking up sharply when the bartender laughed. “What?"

He shook his head. “Nothin’. S’just m’name’s Jack.”

For some reason, that pissed her off. She’d been forgetting why she even came in here, and the anger had ebbed some, but now it flared up again. And since she couldn’t tell off her Jack…

“Well, _Jack_ ,” she bit out. “If you were married, would you steal your wife’s financial assets, take over her shares in both companies, and then leave her with nothing?”

Jack considered that a long moment. “Well. Gotta say, don’t really know what most’a that is, includin’ this hypothetical wife, but can’t say I would.”

Katherine grunted into her glass, knocking back the rest of her drink, anger ebbing away again. This wasn’t her Jack. Her Jack was an asshole. This Jack helped her get drunk and forget _her_ Jack. This Jack didn’t look like the type to screw over anyone.

The Jacks blurred together in her brain and suddenly she had an idea.

“Jack?” She looked up at him carefully

“Hm?”

“Will you marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the whole thing (mostly) plotted and several chapters written but updates will be a little shaky as I wrap up my summer classes. 
> 
> I’d love to know what you think!! :D 
> 
> xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack ponders over money, an interesting proposal, and the impact of Jackie O's fashion.
> 
> (Sarah's to blame for the last one, just.. Don't ask.)

_Mount Sinai Hospital_

_New York Life Insurance_ _Company_

_NYU Office of Student Financial Aid_

_Rent Notice_

Jack sighed, dropping the handful of envelops and scrubbing his hands over his face. Uncovering his face, he half-hoped that the stack of bills on the table would have disappeared.

No such luck.

He saw a movement in the corner of his eye, Crutchie waving a hand to get his attention. “You okay?” Crutchie signed, concern clear on his face.

Jack waved a hand, before spreading it and tapping his thumb against his chest. “Fine.”

“Really?” Crutchie’s eyebrow was cocked and the sign drawn out slowly, obviously in disbelief.

Knocking his fist in an affirmative, Jack gave a hurried, “Yes,” before turning away from his brother, hoping the message was loud and clear.

“ _Jack_.” Crutchie’s spoken word was said with a whine and punctuated with a throw pillow to the back of Jack’s head. “Talk to me.”

Muttering a handful of curses under his breath, knowing Crutchie would have a harder time picking up on what he was saying with his back turned, Jack sighed before turning back to Crutchie with a forced smile. “It’s nothin’. Just handlin’ some bills.”

“Are ya sure you don’t want me to pick up some more shifts at th’ shelter?” Crutchie asked. “I c’n help out.”

Jack was shaking his head before Crutchie had finished asking. “Nah, s’fine. You almost done with school, ya needta focus on that. I can handle things okay f’r now.”

“But ya work all the time Jack. Ya don’t got time f’r art or anythin’—”

“S’alright. I still got enough commissions an’ Kloppman said I could get some more shifts at the bar. S’fine.”

Crutchie shifted on the couch, causing Bella to look up at him. “Yeah I think he’s full’a shit too, Bells.”

Jack shook his head as Bella’s tail thumped on the floor in response to being addressed. Turning around, he glanced at his phone, fighting the urge to check for messages, before shaking his head.

He hadn’t been able to get the girl from yesterday out of his mind. And not just because she’d proposed after all of maybe ten minutes of talking or even her name he could still see in looping cursive on the receipt.

(He wasn’t a creep who checked out girls’ names on receipts or anything, just… the name Pulitzer had a tendency to stand out, didn’t it?)

_“Jack?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“Will you marry me?”_

_Jack gave her a funny look before chuckling over-lightly. “Think I oughta take this away,” he said, clearing her glass away. Instead of replacing it with the whiskey she’d been drinking, he set a bottle of water in front of her. “Sober up, I’ll call ya a cab.”_

_She shoved it away, nearly knocking it over. “I’m not drunk, I’m serious. Will you marry me?”_

_He’d had his fair share of drunken proposals, and this was definitely the most persistent one he’d gotten. “Sorry, am I missin’ somethin’? Ain’t you already engaged?”_

_“Yeah, okay, just listen, okay?” She waited to make sure he was watching her before continuing. “My Jack, the one I am, yes, engaged to, he’s trying to screw me over, but if I get married to_ you _Jack, then that gives me enough time to talk him down and get back what’s mine, and_ then _I can marry him. Bastard.”_

_Jack folded his arms on the bar, leaning forward. “Hate ta sound like a broken record, but… why’re ya marryin’ this guy if ya don’t even like him?”_

_She scrunched up her features and grumbled, in what Jack assumed was supposed to be an impression of someone, “It’s a compromise we can all agree with.”_

_“Okay.” He set the water bottle back in front of her carefully. “Seriously, drink this, ya want me to call someone? Not this other Jack, clearly, but a cab or somethin’?”_

_“I texted Jamie,” she muttered, twisting the cap._

_Jack didn’t know who Jamie was, but figured it was good enough. “Alright, wanna settle now?”_

_Wordlessly, she handed over a credit card and he moved through the motions of running her card before handing her the receipt and a pen to sign._

_She signed it, a big, flourishing signature, and shoved it towards him. Jack couldn’t help himself, he glanced down at the signature—Katherine Pulitzer—and nearly tripped._

_A Pulitzer? Seriously? He’d never seen one in the flesh before, just in magazines and pictures online, and, now that he thought about it, Jack wasn’t sure how he hadn’t recognized her before._

_“‘m not that drunk,” she muttered, pulling him out of his thoughts, something other than vague intoxication in her eyes. “And it could work.”_

_"Look, we all got problems," he said, flipping over her receipt and scribbling his number on the back. "But you's drunk enough that you ain't thinkin' straight. Sober up, an' if ya still think it's a good idea, gimme a call. We'll talk."_

He was really stupid, thinking she'd actually call.

He was _really_ stupid, giving her his number at all, even thinking about it. Why'd he do it? She was engaged, even if she didn't like the guy much, it was clear she was going through with it still—and how did he even know she was really unhappy? Could've been a rough day and that Other Jack guy had made up for it already and they were happy and in love and shit. 

He was a complete idiot for even putting so much thought into the whole thing. She was a customer—a famous customer, sure, but still a customer. Jack wouldn't be putting this much thought into it if it was any other customer. 

A hand clapped down on his shoulder, startling Jack so bad he nearly fell out of the chair.

Crutchie held his hands up, an apologetic look on his face. "Thought I was the Deaf one," he said with a smirk, leaning against the table so he had a free hand to sign. "I gotta go to work. Want me to get dinner?"

Shaking his head, Jack tapped his index and middle finger against his thumb. "No, it's fine, I'll make somethin'."

"Great. See ya later." Crutchie slipped Bella's leash over his wrist before slinging his backpack over his shoulder and heading for the door.

Jack waited until the door closed to turn back, eyes immediately drifting back to his phone. His stomach twisted when the screen faded to black. Was that—? 

No. He was jumpy because of all the bills and being proposed to by some famous girl. Another day and he'd forget she even showed up. Or at least it'll just be some weird story he can tell people. _Yeah, one time_ _Katherine Pulitzer walked into the bar and proposed to me..._

His phone lit up again. Jack gave it another minute before he finally reached for it. After all, it could be Crutchie forgetting his keys or his boss needing him to cover a shift or—

_Unkown (3:21 pm): Okay. I'm sober now and it may be a little crazy but it could still work. Want to meet and talk about it?_

Oh he was definitely stupid. Certifiable.

_Jack (Bartender?) (3:25 pm): yeah. where?_

~*~

Jack made it to the coffeeshop about twenty minutes before they agreed and ordered a coffee. He drummed his fingers against the counter, only stopping when the barista gave him a slightly dirty look. He shot her an apologetic look as he took his coffee before wandering towards the back of the coffeeshop. 

Looking for an out-of-the-way table—even if she wasn't mega-famous, the conversation was bizarre enough he didn't want anyone overhearing—Jack once again wondered about his sanity. 

For all he knew, this was going to end very, very badly. Most likely ending up on the front page of some tabloid. He'd seen pictures of her with these big, scary-looking guys, like she was the First Daughter. Was he setting himself up for an ass kicking? A weird, _Punk'd_ situation? Was Ashton Kutcher even doing that anymore? Did she even _know_ Ashton Kutcher?

Thankfully, before his thoughts spiraled into even stranger territories, she walked in, purple scarf tied over her hair and oversized sunglasses on. She scanned the cafe as soon as she crossed the threshold, looking for him. He raised a hand to wave her down right as her focus zeroed in on him.

Katherine crossed over quickly, giving him a brief, barely-there smile before sitting across from him.

“What’s up, Jackie O?” he asked with a chuckle.

”I’m sorry?” She raised an eyebrow as she took the sunglasses off.

He circled his eye with a finger. “The tortoise shell—the sunglasses,” he said with a shrugged. “I have a friend in fashion, she did a whole project on Jackie Kennedy, I had to hear all 'bout it. Anyways. Uh, d'ya want somethin'?”

She shook her head. "It's fine. Did you think about it?"

 _Right t' business then..._ "What, about a drunken proposal from some girl I never met? I dunno 'bout'chu, but I get one'a those every other week.”

Katherine rolled her eyes. "Okay, I know how it sounds, but this is the only way to get Jack's attention. I'll handle everything; all you have to do is sign the marriage certificate and the annulment papers."

Jack took a sip of his coffee. ”How long do we gotta be married for?”

”A week, maybe two, tops. No one will even know—believe me, as soon as the Morgans get wind of this, they're going to make sure it stays under wraps.” 

He narrowed his eyes at her. He had a pretty good sense of when people were trying to pull shit on him—years of foster homes and dealing with customers at the bar helped with that.

She was deathly serious. Or, at the least, _really_ desperate if she was asking the first person she met to fake marry her to get back at her fiancé.

Which meant she needed him a hell of a lot more than he needed her. Jack thought back to the stack of bills on the table in their shitty apartment. Maybe he could get something out of this too. “Okay,” he said readily.

Katherine brightened before quickly shifting back into neutral. “Good, okay, so—”

“Not so fast," he said, raising a hand. "I didn’t get a chance t’ give ya my terms. You get to keep your money in this deal, I wanna make a little.”

Narrowing her eyes right back at him, she considered him a moment before nodding curtly. “That seems fair enough. Name your price.”

“Just… any number I want? No negotiatin’?” he asked to be sure.

“If it’s too much, I’ll tell you, but I’ll have you know, Jack,” Her eyes flashed like the top shelf whiskey she'd had. “There’s not a number you could tell me that would scare me.”

She was either as stupid as he was or just _that_ desperate.

His thoughts drifted back to the stack of bills growing. Did the math as fast as he could in his head, even though he was shit at it.

He named his price.

She didn’t even blink. “Done. I would offer you a contract for peace of mind, but I’m afraid there can’t be a paper trail…”

Jack shrugged. “I’ll take a spit-shake. S’been bindin’ enough for me.” He spat in his palm, offering it to her to shake.

Wrinkling her nose, she said, “That’s disgusting.”

“That’s business. Miss Pulitzer.” He cocked his head. “Or… Guess it’s Mrs. Kelly now, ain’t it?”

Rolling her eyes slightly, Katherine Pulitzer, heiress to _The World_ —metaphorically and literally, Jack thought—rich socialite, practically American royalty, spat in her palm and shook his hand firmly.

“I'm not taking your last name," she said.

He shrugged. "That's fine. I'll take yours. 'Jack Pulitzer's got a nice ring to it, don't'cha think?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Melissa who pointed out that Jack's initials are JFK and wanted humor around that. Sarah and Jack used to hang out in college with their sketchbooks and draw together, so Jack learned all about Jackie's style because Sarah wouldn't shut up about her.
> 
> So.... I may have oversold the "several chapters written" bit from last chapter.. Cute filler-y chapters?? Definitely got those. Chapters that actually drive the plot?? not so much. But I should be able to get through this first bit with relative ease and we should be good, yeah? yeah. ;)
> 
> I'm in my last week of summer classes which mostly means rewriting essays so once I push through these next few days I'm free to do a little more work on this story before next semester begins!!
> 
> I'd love to know what you think!!
> 
> xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding takes place, friends have doubts, and a story is leaked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's written a little bit differently than the last two, and it's shorter, sorry!! I hope you still like!!

**_Countdown to Royal Wedding_ _—Two Months Until the Morgan-Pulitzer Nuptials_ **

~*~

_Sean (9:26 am): id like to advise against this 1 more time_

_Sean (9:26 am): as ur legal council_

_Kathy (9:27 am): No._

_Kathy: (9:27 am): As my friend, you are expected to show up, be our witness, and stop telling me this is a bad idea._

_Sean (9:29 am): yeah well it is_

_Sean (9:29 am): easily top 10 Worst Ideas Youve Ever Had_

_Sean (9:30 am): i could write a damn buzzfeed article abt it_

_Sean (9:30 am): and i was there when u went blond_

_Kathy (9:32 am): Shut up._

_Kathy (9:32 am): I'm not proud of that. That was a low point._

_Kathy (9:33 am): And you know how I feel about Buzzfeed._

_Kathy (9:33 am): Just be at the courthouse at 10._

_Kathy (9:34 am): And if you wear those stupid suspenders, I will find a random stranger to be our witness._

_Sean (9:35 am): ur not my mother. or my girlfriend ill wear whatever damn suspenders i want._

_Kathy (9:36 am): And don't forget to go to BIlly's office after._

_Sean (9:36 am): yeah yeah i know my role in the worlds worst scheme_

~*~

"Why're you dressed all fancy?" Crutchie asked as he came into the living room—or Crutchie's room, depending on how you looked at it.

Jack looked down at his clothes. It was just a blue shirt and a tie Medda had bought him a few years back. Sure, it was nicer than what he wore to the bar, but it wasn't _fancy_. "This ain't fancy," he signed defensively. 

"You're wearing your fancy blue shirt an' nice tie. What's up?" Crutchie asked, shifting on his bed.

 _Dammit_ , Jack thought Crutchie'd be at work today, he wasn't prepared to have this conversation. "So... remember I was tellin' you we didn't hafta worry 'bout bills?"

Crutchie raised an eyebrow, knocking his fist. "Yeah?"

"Well... I should prob'ly tell ya how I got the money."

A puzzled look crossed Crutchie's face. "Did... you rob a bank?"

"No! Nothin' like that," Jack said quickly, hands tripping over themselves in his haste. "I just... Kinda made a deal."

"What kinda deal?" Crutchie had gone from confused to skeptical and back again, a permanent pucker between his eyebrows.

 _Oh_ , Jack really didn't want to be having this conversation. Not now. Really, not ever. "Uh..." Jack floundered, twisting his fingers and thinking. "Ya know Katherine Pulitzer?"

The furrow between Crutchie's eyebrows deepened a moment before smoothing out a little. "Yeah. The newspaper heiress? What about her?"

"Well..." _Bite the damn bullet, Kelly._ "I, uh. Kinda agreed to marry her."

Crutchie blinked up at him, then looked down at Bella, and up at him again. "Sorry," he said, rubbing his fist in circles on his chest with a rueful smile. "Something got lost in translation. Did you just say you agreed to marry Katherine Pulitzer?"

Jack bounced on his toes, knocking his fist. "Yeah, no, ya heard right. That's where 'm goin' now. The courthouse."

Crutchie's gaze flitted between Jack's hands and his face as he watched him. He was quiet for a long moment.

Finally, he asked, out loud and disbelievingly, "Are you _crazy_?"

~*~

Jack fidgeted with the cuffs of his button-down. He felt ridiculously over-dressed and he wasn't even wearing a suit. He hadn't worn a suit since... well. It'd been a few years. He couldn't stand the things and wasn't like he was really getting married, so. 

The conversation he'd had with Crutchie was still rolling around in his head. He'd been hoping to slip out the door and hopefully never have to tell his brother he did something this stupid. 

Before he could go back down the rabbit hole where he started thinking about backing out, a sleek town car pulled in front of the courthouse. Katherine stepped out of the back, looking down at her phone as she said something to the driver. 

She was dressed similarly to the second time he saw her, Jackie O sunglasses and headscarf included. Instead of the pantsuit he'd come to associate with her, however, she wore a sleek cream-colored dress.

Jack swallowed drily. “Uh, you look… real nice, Kath’rine.”

“Thank you," she looked at him appraisingly over her sunglasses. "You're not so bad yourself. We’re waiting on our witness, a friend. He should be here soon.”

“Yeah, no problem." Katherine had looked back down at her phone, and Jack bounced on his toes a moment. "Uhm, how’d ya get us an appointment? I mean,” he added, when she gave him an odd look. “I ain’t an expert, but ain’t there usually a waitin’ list or somethin’?”

She furrowed her brow a moment before shrugging a shoulder. “Not when your last name is Pulitzer.”

“Oh." That was one he hadn't heard before. "Right.”

“Oh, here he is." She raised her hand to wave at someone. "Sean!”

He followed her gaze to a guy around their age dressed in a sharp suit and—“Spot?”

Spot stopped, cocking his head. “Jack?”

Katherine looked between the two of them, brow furrowed. “Spot? His name is Sean…”

Jack half-turned towards her. “Yeah, an’ we’ve been callin’ him Spot since high school.”

“You know each other?” she asked, confused look on her face. 

Spot quickly shifted from perplexed to a smirk. “Wow, Kathy, when you said ya found some sucker to marry you, you didn’t mention it was _the_ sucker.”

Jack rolled his eyes. Yeah, that was definitely Spot.“Good t’ see ya too, Spot." 

“How the hell did you get caught up in this, Kelly?” Spot asked, shifting his briefcase to his other hand. 

“She came inta the bar I work at an’ asked me to marry her afta a couple’a scotches."

"Ya know, that tracks." 

"Now—that's not—" Katherine sputtered a moment. "That's not the whole story."

Jack shrugged, rocking on his toes a little. "That's pretty much th' whole story." 

She opened her mouth to argue, probably, if he knew anything about her, before clamping her mouth shut and pursing her lips. "Come on, let's get this over with," Katherine said, turning on her heel to climb the steps of the courthouse.

Spot and Jack exchanged a look behind her back.

"You'll hafta excuse her," Spot said. "It's the happiest day of her life."

Jack shook his head. "Uh-huh."

~*~

"Do you, John Francis Kelly, take Katherine Ethel Pulitzer to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Katherine Ethel Pulitzer, take John Francis Kelly to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Then, by the power vested in me, by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

~*~

_Oh shit._ He hadn't thought about kissing her. Did he even brush his teeth this morning?

~*~

_Damn, he kinda looks good in blue_. Okay, so maybe Sean was right and this was the worst idea she'd ever had. 

~*~

_They ain't ever livin' this one down_ , Spot thought as Jack and Katherine paused before awkwardly leaning in for the driest peck he'd ever witnessed.

~*~

Spot rapped on the door with his knuckles. "Billy?"

The other man looked up at him from his computer. "Sean. This is both unexpected and somewhat unsettling. To what do I owe the honor?"

Leaning his shoulder against the doorjamb, he folded his arms and shrugged. "Still got that contact over at _The Sun_?"

Billy raised an eyebrow. "She get herself into some trouble?"

Spot shook his head. "Didn't say anythin' about a her. Or trouble."

"The only time you ever ask me about my contact at that rag is when Katherine needs something leaked somewhere other than _The World_ or any of my father's papers."

"Thought you weren't s'posed to call other papers rags. Journalistic integrity or somethin'."

"Please," Billy said, rolling his eyes. " _The Sun_ lost all integrity the minute Bryan Denton left and they turned into a tabloid."

Spot scoffed softly. "Okay, well ya might want to mention to your contact that Katherine Pulitzer got married today."

Arching an eyebrow, Billy studied him. "Katherine and Jack eloped?"

"Yeah. But not Jack Morgan." Spot slid his phone across the desk to Billy. “Guy’s name is Jack Kelly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some needless world-building that amuses no one but me!:
> 
> So in this version of the world, _The World_ didn't shut down in the 30's and is still in the Pulitzer name. Hearst Corporations (which is actually a real thing and I was shocked to realize tbh) is still in full swing, only with William Randolph Hearst IV (Billy) as president of the company. They're still a huge media conglomerate, and one of their newspapers they own is _The Chicago Tribune_ which Darcy Reid owns. The Pulitzers and Hearsts have mostly buried the hatchet (there was a bit of a bidding war for the Trib but it's forgotten now) and with the relationship between Heart and the Trib, and because Billy and Katherine see the value of relationship rather than competition, they all get along really well and could absolutely rule the newspaper world if they wanted.
> 
> Thank you for reading!! I'd loved to know what you think!
> 
> xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions are asked, no answers given, and Crutchie's only confidant is Racetrack Higgins.
> 
> (dear lord, help him)

“ _Morgan-Pulitzer Wedding off in Light of ‘World’ Heiress’ Marriage to Mystery Man?_ ” Davey read in lieu of greeting as he and Sarah crossed the threshold into the apartment. “I like that, I always thought you were a man of mystery, Jack,” he added, a note of sarcasm clear in his voice.

Jack cocked an eyebrow. “What’re you talkin’ ‘bout, Dave?”

“Your marriage made the papers,” Sarah explained, hands on her hips. “You know, you could’ve told us you were getting married. Finding it out in the paper was just insulting.”

“Jackie’s in the paper?” Crutchie asked, joining them in the kitchen and accepting Sarah’s hug.

“Oh, yeah. Check it out, front page.” Davey snapped the paper out in front of them. “Story continues on page six.”

Jack wrinkled his nose, taking the paper from Davey. Sure enough, under the two-inch headline, there was a slightly blurry picture, probably from a phone camera, of he and Katherine leaving the courthouse.

He knew the article was breaking, that’s where Katherine was now, putting out the fire with her parents. But expecting it and seeing it in front of him were two different things. He didn't get all of what was going on with that, just that he was supposed to expect the article and keep low for a while. He'd gotten the first payment—something about that much money disappearing out of her account would look suspicious—so he didn't really mind going along with whatever she said. 

The interrogation wasn't something he'd thought he'd have to go through, though. Once he told Crutchie, he thought that'd be it. 

Flipping to page six, he began reading. “‘Less than two months before her wedding to Jack Morgan, Katherine Pulitzer seems to have tied the knot with a new mystery man. To add insult to injury, this new man in Princess Pulitzer’s life is also named Jack, though his surname is far less recognizable—Kelly. Sources close to Pulitzer say she an’ Kelly, pictured above, were married in a simple civil ceremony on Friday, with only their families present.

“Who is this mystery man the _World_ heiress has suddenly married, and where has he been all through the engagement talks and wedding planning? Is he a new lover? Old flame? Gold digger after the Pulitzer fortune’?”

He stopped reading, looking up at Sarah, Davey, and Crutchie, who were staring at him. Well, Sarah was staring at him; Crutchie’d been cutting his gaze between Jack and Davey, who had been translating.

“Well?” Sarah asked. “Which one is it? Davey and I have big money riding on this, so don’t lie.”

Jack scoffed. “It’s… complicated.”

“With their families present?” Crutchie asked, face scrunched, like he couldn’t decide between hurt and anger. “You said I couldn’t come.”

“S’a lie, kid. She had Spot tell ‘em that, make it seem legit.”

“Spot Conlon?” Davey asked. “The guy who lived with you an' Crutchie before...”

"Yeah." Jack cut him off before he could finish. “He was only seventeen, so he got shipped off to Brooklyn when Crutchie went to live with your folks. Guess he's a big time lawyer now. Close with the Pulitzers, too. He was the witness.”

“Wait, Spot told who?” Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow.

_Shit_. Katherine'd been fine when he said he'd told Crutchie, but the more people who knew, the easier it was to get out. “Uh, Katherine wanted it out on her terms, y’know? She's got a bunch'a friends in the newspaper world, right? Spot prob'ly leaked the story to one'a them."

“Uh-huh.” Sarah didn’t really look like she believed him, neither did Davey. "Sit," she said, pointing to the chair by the kitchen table. "Spill, how did you meet Katherine Pulitzer? Are you moving in with her? Is she moving in here? Why couldn't Crutchie be at the ceremony?"

Jack swallowed, eyes darting to Crutchie for help. Crutchie just shrugged, shouldering his backpack. "Sorry," he said, without a bit of remorse in his face. "I'm meeting Racer for coffee. You're on your own." Looping Bella's leash over his wrist, he waved to Sarah and Davey before escaping, leaving Jack to deal with Sarah giving him the patented Jacobs' Disapproving Look. 

"Well?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

~*~

_Jack K. (12:36 pm): hey when do i tell my friends all this?_

_Jack K. (12:36 pm): they want to know y u didnt move in_

_Jack K. (12:37 pm): and S wont stop askin questions_

Katherine locked her phone and dropped it in her purse. She wasn't entirely sure who "S" was, but she felt a little pang of guilt for not thinking about how this would look to _his_ friends. All she'd been worried about was how to explain it to her father. And fiancé. But the people in her husband's life? That hadn't crossed her mind. 

Ooh. Fiancé _and_ husband. Maybe this was a little more insane than she'd thought. 

She stepped off the elevator on the very top floor of _The World_ building, heading towards her father's office.

Hannah raised an eyebrow as she approached. "Katherine."

Katherine smiled at her. "Hi Hannah. How are you? How's the missus?"

"Oh, we're fine, dear, thank you. Your father on the other hand..."

Humming, Katherine nodded. "And whatever could he be so upset about?"

Hannah shrugged a shoulder. "Well, you know how he gets when his daughter's name shows up in the news without his prior knowledge."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Katherine leaned a hip against Hannah's desk. "Is my name in the news today?"

Giving her a dry look, Hannah said, "Katherine, I always believed you to be a smart girl—"

"Why, thank you, Hannah."

"—so why are you trying so hard to act so stupid?" Hannah finished, taking a sip of her tea.

Katherine scrunched up her nose. "That obvious?"

"Mm." Hannah nodded. "Tone it down for them in there," she added, jerking her head towards the closed office door.

"Are they all in there?"

"Have been for a half hour."

Tossing her hair, Katherine straightened and said drily, "Good, I love an audience."

Hannah let out a little laugh. "Good luck, hon."

Stopping with her back against the door to her father's office, Katherine cocked her head. "You know, it's funny—my father hasn't so much as looked at a copy of _The Sun_ since Bryan Denton left. Makes me wonder how he even knows about me being in the news."

Nodding Hannah seemed to consider that a moment. "You know what else is funny? How someone who insisted she had no idea she was in the news was able to guess the exact paper she was in." 

It was Katherine's turn to laugh. "Touché."

Just as Hannah had warned her, her father, JP, and Jack Morgan were waiting for her, turning to face her as she entered the office.

Jack was the first to speak to her."

"What the hell, Katherine?" he spat out, throwing a copy of _The Sun_ down on the desk in front of her.

Katherine was almost taken aback. This was the most passionate she'd ever seen Jack Morgan. Instead, she folded her arms across her chest. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean," she said primly, sitting in a chair opposite him.

Jack scoffed. "Oh don't you try and pull that on me," he said. "What kind of stunt do you think you're pulling, getting married?"

"You will watch your tone in this office," her father said sharply. "How do you even know you can trust _The Sun_?" He picked up the magazine distastefully. "Do you have any contact with Bryan Denton?" he asked Katherine.

She shrugged. "Not much past his Twitter. He's overseas, now, I think with the _Times_."

He nodded. "Let me know the second he's back in the States. I want him working for _The World_ before William Hearst poaches him."

"Then I suggest you actually use your Twitter, because Billy and Denton are apparently close."

JP slammed a hand down on Joseph's desk, actually causing Katherine to jump a little. "Dammit, girl, just tell us what you're pulling here. My office has already received dozens of calls, asking for a quote about my supposed-to-be daughter-in-law. It's getting ridiculous."

Though she bristled at the "girl" comment, Katherine raised her hands in a placating manner. "You know what? You're right. And I would be happy to make this all disappear for, say... A review of our prenup agreement?" She directed the last part of the question towards Jack, raising an eyebrow.

He had the decency to look slightly stricken. "Just... what are you implying?"

"I think you know, Jack," she leveled back at him. 

Her father looked up at JP once more. "What did your son do this time?"

" _My_ son?" JP seethed. "It was _your_ daughter who went and got married to some other man no one has ever heard of. And before you ask, we went to the courthouse and were able to see a copy of the marriage certificate. It's legitimate."

Katherine and Jack were having a stand-off of their own. "I'm a reasonable woman, Jack—"

"Oh really?" 

"—and you're, sometimes, reasonable yourself. We can come to an agreement. A compromise," she added. "We can all live with." 

Ugh, her father's words tasted bitter in her mouth.

Jack looked like he might consider her words for a moment, before shaking his head and standing, buttoning his jacket. "No one drags the Morgan name like this. Not without consequence."

Katherine raised an eyebrow. "Is that a threat?"

He scoffed as he and JP made their way to the door. "Consider it a promise."

Once again, Katherine had to wonder where _this_ Jack Morgan came from, the one who actually had the stones to say what he meant. Though, if she thought about it, she should probably be worried that this Jack was making himself known now, when she maybe hadn't thought her plan through as well as she should have. 

Sighing, she turned back to her father, trying not to feel guilty when he leveled her with a look, the same one he used when she and Lucy were young. The one that said he knew they were up to something, but wanted them to admit it themselves. 

"Katherine." 

She smiled genially at him, going for a look that had gotten her out of trouble many times before. "Dad?" 

He studied her a long moment before sighing, shaking his head, and picking up a pen. "Whatever you're trying to do here, wrap it up quickly, will you?"

Katherine picked up her purse as she stood. "Of course. I'll see you and Mom for dinner Friday."

Her father waved a hand, another gesture she was all too familiar with. The one telling her he had heard her, but was back to work so he didn't have time for small talk. 

Slinging her purse over her shoulder, Katherine left the office, saying a quick goodbye to Hannah. Jack's words echoed in her head, reminding her of the other Jack, whose texts were still sitting on 'read' on her phone. 

As the elevator dinged open, a sly smile crossed her features. She pulled out her phone.

If Jack Morgan wanted to do this the hard way, she could play that game. 

_Katherine (12:52 pm): Actually..._

_Katherine (12:52 pm): I have to talk to you about that._

~*~

Crutchie sighed, leaning back in the chair by the table, popping the lid off his coffee cup and snapping it back on while he waited for Race. His crutches were leaning against the chair next to him and Bella was curled under the table by his foot. 

His phone flashed in front of him and he flipped it over, reading the text.

_Racer (1:16 pm): outside coffeeshop_

_Racer (1:16 pm): gimme 2 minutes to order_

Twisting around, Crutchie waved at Race in line before going back to his coffee. His left leg twinged a bit, and he winced, reaching down and rubbing the spot just above where his leg ended.

A moment later, Race appeared in front of him, slinging his backpack off his shoulders. 

"What's up?" Race asked, sitting across from him.

Crutchie rolled his eyes. "You would not believe the weekend I'm having," he signed, taking a sip of his coffee.

Race furrowed his brow. "What happened?"

"Jack did something crazy."

Taking a moment before he answered, Race finally said, "No, I believe that, Crutchie."

Huffing a little laugh, Crutchie shook his head. "This one takes the cake. You know Katherine Pulitzer?"

"The newspaper girl? Yeah. Sat next to her at a show once."

Crutchie cocked his head. "Really?"

Race knocked his his fist. "Yeah. Remember the tickets to _Mean Girls_ my parents got me, with the interpreter? That you couldn't go to?"

"Yeah?" 

"She sat in the row in front of me."

Crutchie frowned. "That's not next to you."

"It's _close_ ," Race insisted, wide eyes in a faux-earnest look. "I could've touched her."

"Did you?" Crutchie asked, eyebrow cocked.

Race threw a sugar packet at him. " _No_ , I ain't a creep."

"Not what I heard."

"You can't hear for shit."

"Can hear more than you."

"Fuck you, Morris." Race rolled his eyes. "So what about Katherine Pulitzer?"

Crutchie let out a breath, puffing up the fringe poking out of his beanie. He wasn't technically supposed to tell anyone, but honestly. Who was Race gonna tell? "Jack met her at the bar last week and she asked him to marry her."

Race leaned back in his chair, staring at Crutchie before tapping his fingers to his forehead and pulling them out to form a 'y'. " _Why_?"

A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and Crutchie turned to see the barista holding a coffee that looked like Race's usual order. The place was too packed for him to hear what she was saying, but no one had claimed the coffee yet. He jerked his head towards the counter. "Get your coffee. This is gonna take a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so Crutchie has about 30% of his hearing left. His parents had been deaf, so he just grew up learning ASL and that's how he mainly communicates unless 1) it's one-on-one with someone he's comfortable with, and 2) not in a really loud environment (which is why I've shown him talking to Jack, Sarah, and Davey so far) Race is completely deaf, after he got meningitis when he was little. 
> 
> Hannah reads _The Sun_ religiously and has a wife named Ida k thanks bye
> 
> I'd love to know what you think!!
> 
> xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Katherine take a big step forward in their relationship. There are only... some resignations about it.

Race leaned back in his chair. "That is... insane."

"Right? Thank you," Crutchie said, tugging the sleeves of his hoodie back down. He'd pushed them up when he'd gotten going, but they were sitting by a window and he was cold now. "And he didn't even tell me anything about it."

"I mean, it's still crazy, and he probably should have said something, but I'm not surprised."

Crutchie frowned. "What?"

Race tipped his chair back on two legs, thinking a moment. Dropping back down, he said, "Look. Since everything happened, Jackie would do anything for you. He'd draw a line for me or Sarah or Davey, but you? Anything. Even marry some girl he didn't know just to make sure he could take care of you. He's annoyingly loyal like that."

Leaning back in his chair a little, Crutchie considered that. It did sound like something Jack would do. He wasn't thrilled about all the secrecy around it, and he hated thinking that Jack was doing all this just for _him_ , but Jack was an adult—sorta—and even if he knew it was crazy, he knew what he was doing. 

At least Crutchie really hoped he did.

Shaking his head, he said, "I really hate it when you're right. It's really annoying."

Race shrugged. "It's a gift."

The barista, whose hair was almost the same shade of red as Bella's, approached their table and said something that Crutchie only caught half of. Cutting a glance to Race, he shook his head and opened his mouth in attempt to smooth out the situation. 

Before he could, she held up a finger before sipping her hand in the front pocket of her apron and pulling out her pad. Tearing off the top page, she handed it to him with a slight smile. 

_Sorry, I don't know any sign. My boss says we need the table and since you're done with the coffee... I can slip you a couple of muffins or something if you wanna stay. He's a jackass anyways._

Crutchie snorted before looking up at Race. "They need the table," he signed, then turned back to the barista. "We'll go," he said, wincing inwardly. He wasn't entirely sure what his voice sounded like, but he'd seen the looks before. "Sorry f'r—Sorry."

She waved her hand. "—s fine, jus'...rry to kick... like that."

"It's fine," Crutchie said, tapping his thumb against his chest. Shrugging his backpack on, he reached for his crutches and stood, hopping a bit to catch his balance. Race stood as well, gathering their empty cups and pushing the chairs in once Bella was out from under the table.

Nodding at the barista, Crutchie gave her a smile. The corner of her mouth ticked up as she waved before turning to wipe down their table. 

Race waited until they were on the subway before saying, "Dude, I don't know anything about this, but I think that girl was checking you out."

Crutchie snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure she goes for one-legged deaf guys."

"Hey, you're hot. Anyone'd be lucky to have you."

"Don't be nice. It's weirder than you being right."

~*~

"Okay, ya gotta tell me you see how insane this sounds, right?"

Katherine had asked Jack to meet her at the coffeeshop they met at before to tell him about her idea for the next step in the plan.

He wasn't taking too well to it.

"You said two weeks tops. An' now you're askin' me to move in with ya?" Jack shoved his coffee away from him, rubbing the back of his neck.

She scraped her hair away from her face. "There... was an unforeseen incident, and the marriage wasn't enough to convince him."

Jack shrugged. "An'? So ya lost. Get the annulment, give me the rest of the money, an' don't marry the guy if ya really don't wanna."

That would be the easiest, most sensible way out. Chalk it up to a failed experiment and move on.

Except the word failure had never really been in her vocabulary. Not when she was ten and she auditioned six times for the school play. Not when she was sixteen and took the driver's test eight times. Not when she was twenty-two and applying for her MBA and all her father's friends didn't think she was cut out for the program. 

(Granted, she ended up working backstage for that play, and she still couldn't actually drive, but dammit, she had an MBA didn't she?)

She couldn't let Jack Morgan win this one. 

All she had to do was convince _this_ Jack now. "Jack, I know I'm asking a lot of you, and I'm disrupting your life in a major way. And I shouldn't be asking any more of you than I already have, but I promise as soon as it's all done you never have to see me again. Ever, if that's what you want."

Jack sighed, the hand on his neck stilling as he studied the hardwood table. For a brief, crazy moment, Katherine considered threatening to take the money away, and _God_ , didn't that make her the worst person in the world? That sounded like something her father would try to do, and while Joseph Pulitzer was the best in the business, she never wanted to mimic his business style verbatim.

He still hadn't said anything, and Katherine shook her head. She was in too deep, especially if she was thinking like her father. It was time to bow out gracefully.

Before she could say anything, Jack let out a breath, and said, hesitantly, "Yeah. Fine, whatever."

"Are you sure?" she asked because he still wouldn't look at her.

He scoffed. “Not really. But, I gotta 'nother stipulation. I don’t go anywhere without Charlie, so it’s gotta be somewhere accessible. An’ pet friendly.”

Katherine wrinkled her nose. “I don’t really do pets. Can’t a friend watch Charlie until this whole… thing is done?”

“Charlie’s my brother. Bella’s his service dog,” he said slowly, like she was stupid. “Had his leg amputated last year, been mostly deaf since birth. Don’t got parents t’ help him ‘til he’s outta school, so it’s me.”

She did feel a little stupid now that he'd explained it. Covering it up by busying herself with adding sugar to her coffee—immediately regretting it when she remembered she'd already added enough sugar to it—Katherine said stiffly, “You could have mentioned that before agreeing to this.”

He scoffed. “Didn’t know we’d be livin’ together.”

“Obviously we have to, we need to sell this.”

Jack raised his hands in defense. “Pardon me, princess, I neva’ got fake-married before.”

Her hackles rose. “Are you insinuating that I have?”

“Look two weeks ago all I knew ‘bout’cha was you was a rich girl from a famous family. I don’t know ya from Adam.” Sighing, he scrubbed his face with a hand. "Look, he's already pissed enough with the wedding that we apparently had family at. If I gotta move, he's gotta come with me." 

That was fair enough. She'd put him through enough, the least she could do was let his brother come along. "Yeah, of course. Charlie—and Bella—are welcome. I'll let you know when I find a place, and if I can help anyway with the move, I'd be happy to." 

Jack waved her off. "S'fine, we ain't got much. An' Davey an' Sarah can help us. Sarah's been wonderin' 'bout when we were gonna move in together anyways."

 _Sarah..._ Oh, _S_. They must be the friends he had mentioned. “What did you tell them, by the way?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Told ‘em I met’cha at the bar. Just didn't say when.”

”Are they... okay?” Oh God, she wasn't getting nervous about what his _friends_ thought about her.

Though maybe she should. If they were going so far as to move in together, she was probably going to run into Davey and Sarah at some point. And when they learned about everything, Katherine was going to come off pretty badly there.

Another shrug. “Kinda hurt I neva’ said anythin’, but. Davey’s pretty ride-or-die most’a the time. Sarah’s the one who needs convincin’.” 

~*~

A week later, Jack and Crutchie were standing outside a luxury apartment building.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Crutchie asked, craning his neck to look up at the building. 

Jack shrugged, unlocking his phone. "Katherine says this is the address," he said, sending off a text to Katherine, letting her know they were there.

Shifting on his crutches, Crutchie pushed himself up so Jack could hear him over the noise on the street. "We ain't in Brooklyn no more, Toto." 

Laughing, Jack shifted one of the bags on his shoulder. "No we ain't."

Crutchie squinted, looking across the horizon. "Is that the Hudson?" he asked.

Before Jack could answer, Katherine stepped out of the apartment building, ducking around the foot traffic to reach them. 

“Do you need help?” Katherine asked, instead of greeting them. She took in the two duffle bags slung over Jack’s shoulders, the rolling suitcase in his hand, and Crutchie’s backpack. “I could’ve sent movers over if you needed them.”

Jack translated for Crutchie before answering her, signing as he spoke. “Uh, no. This’s it. Well, an’ a couple’a boxes sittin’ at a friend’s f’r now. One’s Bella’s stuff.”

“Oh.” She looked down at Bella, standing between Crutchie’s legs, as though she hadn’t realized she was there. “May I?” she asked, tentatively looking between him and Crutchie as Jack relayed her question.

Crutchie nodded, and Katherine patted Bella on the head. “Is that all you have? Is the rest of your stuff in storage, then?”

Jack shook his head. “Nah, this is what we got. Ya said the place was furnished, right?”

“It is, but… You packed your life into four bags and a couple of boxes?”

“Yeah, Dave an’ Sarah’ll bring the boxes a li’l later, if that’s okay.” Jack paused as Crutchie jumped in with an earnest look on his face. 

“We need Bella’s bed and bowls and stuff. I couldn’t fit them in my backpack.”

“Right, yeah,” he nodded. “Don’t worry ‘bout it kid, I’ll text ‘em when I know which apartment it is.”

Katherine looked between them again. “I’m sorry…?”

Jack rolled his shoulders tightly. It'd been awhile since he'd done the back and forth thing. “Crutchie’s just sayin’ we need Bella’s stuff for tonight since we couldn’t fit it in what we got. Sorry, ‘m a bit slow at translatin’, most’a us know ASL.”

"A-S...?"

"Uh, sign language."

Realization dawned on her face. "Oh. Right. Well, shall we? We're up on the tenth floor, and I want to introduce you to Sidney." She turned to lead them into the building.

Crutchie stopped Jack, placing his thumb on his chin and wiggling his index finger. "Who?"

Jack shrugged, spelling out the name. "S-I-D-N-E-Y? I don't know." 

Turned out, Sidney was the doorman. An honest-to-God, white-hair-but-mostly-balding man in his fifties, doffing his cap to them as they entered. 

"Miss Pulitzer," he said, not appearing surprised at the train of people (and dogs) that followed her. 

"Hi, Sidney. Uhm, this is my... husband... Jack Kelly, and his brother, Charlie, uhm. Oh, you told me this," Katherine said, furrowing her brow, thinking. "Morris! Charlie Morris. And Bella," she added, gesturing down to Bella, sitting at Crutchie's foot.

"Mister Kelly. Mister Morris. Miss... Bella." Sidney nodded at each of them in turn. "Good to meet you."

Jack relayed the message to Crutchie before he shook the man's hand. "You too, Sidney."

Sidney tipped his hat towards them once more and Katherine led them to the elevator. They squeezed on, Jack rolling his shoulders, ready to set the bags on his shoulders down. The ride up to the tenth floor was quiet, save for the soft music playing over the speakers. Finally the elevator stopped on their floor.

Katherine led them down the hallway to the third door on the right. "This is us," she said as she unlocked the door and entered. 

Crutchie stopped abruptly just inside the door, staring at the foyer, jaw slightly dropped, and Jack nearly knocked him over.

“Whoa!” He grabbed Crutchie’s shoulder to keep him from falling over. “What…?”

His eyebrows shot up. The apartment was a wide, open floor plan, with gleaming wood floors and floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the Hudson on one wall. The couch in the living room looked like leather, more expensive than his whole freshman year’s tuition. And that was just what he could see.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” Crutchie signed, eyes wide with delight. “I can get used to you having a rich wife.”

“Mm.” Jack wrinkled his nose. “Funny.” At least Crutchie wasn't mad at him anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” Katherine said when she realized they hadn’t followed her in. “It’s a little on the smaller side, but it’s all I could find on a short notice.”

Jack stumbled halfway through translating to Crutchie, staring at her as her words registered with him. Crutchie waved a hand, brow furrowed. “What?”

Slowly, Jack finished. “She said sorry it’s small. It’s all she could find.”

Crutchie’s eyebrows shot up, disappearing under his beanie. “This is small? Is she joking?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but _what_ are you saying?” Katherine said, a touch sharp.

Jack bristled slightly at her tone. She may be used to people dropping everything for her, but she was going to have to get used to their pace. “Crutchie wants t’ know if ya jokin’. This place’s bigger’n the last three places we lived in. Combined.”

Crutchie nodded in agreement.

Katherine looked taken aback, turning and looking around the apartment. “Oh, uhm…” Shaking her head, she turned back to them, pulling a key ring from her pocket. “Well, here are your keys to the apartment. The room down this hallway is mine, but there's two others down there. They're all yours. Sorry, I have to go, I'm meeting my parents.”

Handing a key to Crutchie, Jack set down one of the bags in the kitchen, rubbing his shoulder as Katherine disappeared around the corner.

Crutchie tapped his shoulder. "Since you're just standing here, I'm getting first dibs on room," he said, and he and Bella turned to go down the hall. 

Jack scoffed, shaking his head as he shrugged off the other bag. He stood in the kitchen, awkwardly, almost afraid to sit down anywhere, afraid to taint the stark, unfamiliar cleanliness of the space. His phone chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

_Sarah (2:36 pm): Did you see this? Katherine's ex isn't taking your marriage too well._

Furrowing his brow, Jack clicked on the link she sent. 

**_Jack Morgan insists he's 'Not Worried in the Slightest' about Pulitzer's marriage in exclusive interview_** the headline read. _'He's a bartender from Brooklyn, I'm not sure there's much to be worried about—'_

"Shit," he whispered, dropping his phone on the counter, not bothering to read the rest. Resting his elbows on the counter, he pressed the heels of his hands into eyes. This was stupid, and if Crutchie wasn't already attached to the apartment, he'd be dragging him out the door now.

"Yeah." Jack looked up to see Katherine standing next to him. She nodded to the phone. "That's what I'm going to deal with now."

He scoffed. "How?"

"Well, first I have to talk to my parents, see how they're... handling this. Then, we'll go forward from there." She shrugged. "But I'm going to fix it, okay?" 

"Yeah, okay," Jack said nodding. "Well... good luck with that. I should help Crutchie unpack—"

As he spoke, he pushed himself off the counter just as Katherine started to round it, headed for the front door. They just narrowly missed colliding, coming chest-to-chest and freezing.

This was the closest they'd been since the wedding, and it took Jack a moment to find his balance again. He heard Katherine inhale slightly, and he realized he hadn't been breathing himself. "Uh. I should..."

"Yeah," Katherine said, shaking her head. "I have to... talk to my parents."

"An' I gotta, uh, make sure Crutchie ain't lost here," Jack agreed. "Uh, see ya... later, then."

She nodded, looking down and ducking around him a little. "Yeah. Bye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember if the doorman in Legally Blonde 2 was named Sidney, but that's who I think of for this doorman. 
> 
> the barista will return! any guesses? 
> 
> so I was wondering, would y'all be interested in me doing some signing videos on tumblr?? like sign names, or some simple signs Jack and Crutchie use?? answer any questions you have about any of this, writing a deaf character or anything?? Let me know!! here, or on tumblr @wordshakerofgallifrey
> 
> Calvary is getting called in next chapter! I'd love to know what you think!! 
> 
> xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Katherine settle into their new place and more people are brought in on the ruse.

About half an hour after Katherine had left, the intercom buzzed insistently.

Jack slid across the floor in his socks, stopping by the door. "Yeah, Sidney?" 

" _Mr. Kelly, there are two guests here for you—_ "

" _Jack_ _Kelly, you let us in or I'll throw your art supplies in the Hudson_!" the unmistakable sound of Sarah Jacobs came through the speakers.

He laughed, pressing the button. "Yeah, Sidney, they're alright. Let 'em up." 

" _Very well, sir._ "

Wrinkling his nose at the "sir" bit, Jack turned to Crutchie, who was sitting on the couch, sorting through one of the duffle bags. "Sarah and Davey are on their way up." 

Crutchie flicked out an "OK" at him. "Is this mine or yours?" he asked, holding up a flannel shirt. 

"I've neva' seen that shirt before in my life."

"So... can I keep it?"

Jack shrugged, pushing his index finger from his chin. "Sure."

There was a knock at the door, and Jack moved to open it, revealing Sarah and Davey, each holding a box.

"Here you go." Sarah slung a reusable grocery bag—one she'd made, he could tell—off her shoulder and handed it to him. "Bread, so this house may never know hunger. Salt, so that life may always have flavor. And wine, so that joy and prosperity may reign forever. And all this other crap you left at our place," she added, hefting the box in her hands towards him.

"You light up my life, Sarah," Jack laughed, taking the box from her.

She shrugged, sliding past him into the apartment. "Baby, I know— _Wow_ ," she said, stopping in the middle of the apartment, turning in a slow circle. "So this is the mansion, huh?"

"Nah, remember, the mansion's Upstate," Davey said, stepping over the threshold. "This's just the guest house. Right, Jackie?" 

"Yeah, yeah, see if I let Sidney let you up ever again," Jack said, closing the door.

"David, I can see our apartment from here, this is crazy," Sarah said from her spot by one of the large windows.

Davey laughed. "You can probably see the other side of New Jersey with that view. Hey, Crutch," he waved a hand to get Crutchie's attention. "I have Bella's stuff," he signed.

Crutchie pulled himself up by his crutches and said, "Oh, thanks Davey! Can you bring it t' m'room? I'm puttin' Bella's bed there."

The two of them disappeared down the hallway, and Jack sat on the couch, opening the box Sarah had handed him. It was a mess of sketchbooks and watercolor trays and pencils and paintbrushes, and basically anything he had that wasn't his tablet.

He felt Sarah settle on the couch next to him. "Crutchie likes the new place, huh?" 

"Oh, yeah. Turned my back f'r a second an' he grabbed the biggest room down the hall." 

"Down the hall? How big is this place?"

"Yeah, me an' Crutchie's down there, Katherine's on the other side," Jack said, not thinking as he dug through the box. 

"Separate rooms? Already?" Sarah asked lightly.

Jack cleared his throat. "Yeah, uh. Wouldn't 'spect me an' Crutchie to share a room, wouldja? Not in a place this big." He kept his face carefully hidden in the box, pretending to look through it.

He felt Sarah shift on the couch next to him. "For a guy who just got married to a millionaire heiress and is living in a really nice apartment, you seem... not happy. At all. What's up? Is it the article?"

Shaking his head, he looked back up at her with a half-smile. “Nah, ‘m just tired, Sarah.”

Sarah gave him a disbelieving look. “Jack, come on. I’ve known you almost seven years, I know when you’re lying.”

Jack heaved a sigh, sputtering out the breath. He already told Crutchie when he wasn't supposed to, but it was getting too hard to keep it quiet. And he was already feeling like he was going crazy and he'd been moved in for two hours. He had to tell someone. "Okay, uh. It's kinda a long story, so. Ya might wanna open that wine ya brought first."

~*~

Katherine sighed as the car pulled away from her parents' house, flicking through the headlines on her phone. All anyone seemed capable of talking about was her marriage to Jack.

**_Royal Wedding Officially Off! Who is the New Man in Princess’ Life?_ **

**_Top Ten Reactions to Princess Pulitzer Calling off Her Wedding_ **

**_Pulitzer's Marriage REAL. Local Judge Spills Details_ **

**_Jospeh Pulitzer Says "No_ ** **_Comment" to Daughter's Surprise Nuptials_ **

Katherine huffed. "No comment, my ass," she muttered. Joseph Pulitzer had had several comments for her, each louder than the last. 

He'd been willing to go along with her "scheme", as he'd called it, when it was just speculation. But curiosity ran deep in Pulitzer veins, so he'd had their marriage license and story verified.

Once it had been, he’d wasted no time detailing exactly how he felt about her getting married. 

_"Just what do you think you're playing at, Katherine?" he asked, waving his arms like a madman._

_"I got married," Katherine replied glibly. "Six months ago that wasn't something I was 'playing at'."_

_Her father didn't find that funny. "Six months ago, you were getting married to a man your mother and I knew, man with status, not a... some... bartender you met a month ago."_

_"We met in college, actually," Katherine said quickly. "NYU."_

_Joseph studied her a long moment. "You haven't been acting like yourself lately, Katherine. Is there something you need to tell us?"_

_Katherine bristled at his question. She was almost afraid she knew exactly where this line of questioning was headed. "_ _Like what?" she asked carefully._

_"Well." Her father was shifting uncomfortably, like he was when they got too close to discussing personal feelings. "There were... certain signs we... may have missed with your sister..." he trailed off, looking at Mom helplessly._

_"Lucy certainly had... some erratic behavior that we chalked up to teenage rebellion, you could say," her mother finally said._

_"Well, I'm twenty-six, Mom," Katherine said exasperatedly. This was headed somewhere she definitely didn't want it to. "So it's probably not that. What are you really asking?"_

_Her parents exchanged long glances before Mom finally said, "We just want to make sure you're not... headed in that same path."_

_"What, do you want me to go piss in a cup?" she asked bluntly._

_"That's not fair, Katherine," her father snapped at her._ _  
_

_Katherine stood. "Right._ I'm _the one not being fair."_

She hadn't planned on telling them the whole thing was a sham, and now she was definitely glad she hadn't. If just saying she was married to someone other than Jack Morgan warranted a talk about whether or not she was following in Lucy's footsteps, she couldn't imagine what her parents would say if they knew it wasn't even a real marriage.

"Miss Pulitzer?" Jamie's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"We're here," he said, and, looking out the window and seeing her apartment building, Katherine realized she'd been staring at her phone blankly for the last thirty minutes.

"Oh, right." She pulled her purse strap over her shoulder, opening the door. "Thank you, Jamie. Say hi to Neil for me."

"Will do. Goodnight, Miss Pulitzer."

The ride up to the tenth floor was quiet as Katherine leaned heavily against the cool wall. The door opened and she padded down the hallway. Just as she reached the door, she remembered Jack and Charlie had moved in, like, two hours ago.

With a soft groan, she leaned her head against the door a minute. Part of her hoped she could slip through the apartment without being noticed. She just wanted to lay down and not think about her sister or her parents or the fact that she shared an apartment with essential strangers.

Unlocking the door, Katherine opened it as quietly as she could, hoping they'd be unpacking in their rooms or watching TV and wouldn't notice. 

Jack and Charlie were watching TV in the living room, but they weren't alone. There was also another guy around Jack's age and a girl with long hair tied back in an intricate braid. But it wasn't the addition of people she hadn't met in her home that caused her to pause in the foyer.

It was Jack.

It was the most relaxed she'd seen him since she first met him in the bar. His sleeves were rolled up loosely and his arm was thrown over the back of the couch as he laughed at something Crutchie signed animatedly.

Her plan to escape to her room flew out of her mind as she realized it was the first time she'd actually seen him happy.

Jack looked up then, meeting her eyes, and something in his face shuttered, even as he kept the smile on his face.

"Oh, uh, hey Katherine," he said, straightening some. "This's Davey an' Sarah. We met 'em back in college."

She waved a little, dropping to the floor as she kicked her heels off by the door. "Hi. Don't mind me, I'm just passing through, I have work to do." 

Davey and Sarah waved back at her before going back to their conversation. Jack looked back at her for a moment before joining them, and Katherine went into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a water bottle. Closing the door, she took a long pull from it, pushing her hair back as she turned, nearly jumping out of her skin when she came face-to-face with Sarah. 

"Oh my god," she said under her breath. "Sorry. You scared me."

"Oh, sorry. I'm Sarah," the other girl said. "Jack's friend. We haven't actually met." There was something about her tone that made Katherine do a double-take. "So... you should know that Jack told me and David what's really going on. Don't get mad at him," she added quickly. "I made him tell me because I thought there was something going on."

Katherine couldn't even make herself mad, or even annoyed that two more people knew. The whole visit with her parents had utterly exhausted her and she just wanted to go to bed. "What gave it away?" she asked, anyways, because she couldn't help but wonder what had tipped her off. 

Sarah shrugged. "Jack is not great with secrets, especially about a girl he loves enough to marry. Even if he'd kept it quiet for privacy or whatever, he would've given something up."

"Mm," Katherine hummed. Sarah seemed to be getting to something, but she was too tired to figure it out. 

"And, well..." Sarah said, drawing out the word. "You know, you actually come off better in the truth, so."

"How... how did I come off before?" Katherine asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer. She was getting a headache and exhausted with the defamation of her character today.

"Well. Not great, if I'm honest. If he was really keeping it quiet, I'd think that you were asking him to keep it quiet because you were embarrassed of him."

"Embarrassed?" 

"I mean. Celebrity, regular guy from Brooklyn—not that there's anything wrong with Jack," Sarah added with a defensive tone. "Obviously, I love him, but it's not... What's normally seen."

Before Katherine could answer, Davey entered the kitchen as well, setting his glass in the sink. "Sarah, I need to get back, I have to finish my lesson plan."

Sarah cocked her head. "Dude, your class starts in two days, you're not finished with it?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to ask, how are the bridesmaid dresses for the Valentine's Day wedding coming?" Davey shot back.

"I knew Jack and I shouldn't have taught you to play dirty. That's on me. Let's go," Sarah set her glass in the sink next to Davey's before turning to the living room to say goodbye to Jack and Charlie, leaving Katherine and Davey in the kitchen alone. 

"Uh, nice to meet you, Katherine," Davey said awkwardly.

"You too, Davey," she said as he turned to join Sarah and Jack by the door. Charlie had disappeared somehow, somewhere, and Katherine couldn't help but wonder how he moved so quickly without notice as she dropped her head back against the cabinet doors. 

Closing her eyes, she heard the door open, then click shut softly and the lock latch. She opened her eyes to see Jack moving into the kitchen, setting a bottle of wine on the counter. "Davey an' Sarah," he said, by way of explanation. "They brought wine an' salt an' bread. Bread's pretty good, their mom made it, an' Esther's the best."

She nodded tiredly, and Jack shifted on his feet. 

"Uhm, sorry, I know we had the whole 'don't talk 'bout it with anyone'—"

Katherine shook her head. "I just need to know who else you'll tell. Parents, other siblings... Oh god."

"What?" 

"You don't have a girlfriend, do you?" she asked. It sounded like a stupid question as soon as she asked it, but it seemed like something she should know. Besides, Jack wasn't— _unattractive_. And it wasn't like he had no personality. It wasn't out of the realm or possibility that he had a girlfriend. 

Jack looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "D'ya think I'd say yes to all this if I had a girlfriend?"

"Well—" Katherine didn't know how to get out of this. "You have a life outside of the bar, you're young. And, I don't know, Sarah said—"

He waved a hand. "Sarah's protective, gotta take anythin' she says with a grain'a salt. An' Davey an' Sarah are the last ones. I got them an' Crutchie. No parents, no girlfriends, that's it." His tone had a note of finality in it and was a touch sharp.

"Okay, sorry. I just... wanted to know," she said, nodding jerkily. 

Jack seemed to deflate a little. "We're gonna hafta figure out how to do this livin' together thing."

"Yeah," she sighed. "We are." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so sorry this took so long to get up!! school has been absolutely kicking my ass and it took me so long to actually wrap up this chapter.
> 
> so I decided that Jack needed his own support system through this. He has Crutchie, and Crutchie has Race. Katherine has Spot and Bill and Darcy. Jack needed more people.
> 
> I'm too tired to come up with much more of a clever ending note, so I'll just say, I hope you enjoy! I'd love to know what you think!!
> 
> xx


End file.
